Senior Spring

Saturday, August 4, 2018



Senior spring was a time that I will never be able to properly put into words.

It was a season of early mornings and late nights. Of more rehearsals that I would have thought possible, of running and dancing and singing with everything we had. It was a time of roles I'd dreamt of, of the opportunity to work underneath pure genius.

It was a season of friendship. Of practically living with my best friend and somehow never getting sick of each other. Of putting our all into maintaining relationships, no matter the exhaustion and lack of time. Of 'how are you' texts and 'tell me about your day' phone calls. People who were always there for an encouraging word. Of learning who cared enough to keep things strong, even when life was crazy.

Senior spring was way too much shopping. It was wondering why on earth it's so difficult to find a white dress. (Hint: Altar'd State is your best friend.) It was prom dress option after prom dress option before finally deciding on the dress I fell in love with from day one, of hours spent looking through dance costumes and swearing that I would never online shop again as long as I live.

It was prom. Of not even knowing if I really wanted to go, but having the best time. Prom was swing dancing with old friends and endless photobooth strips and dance circles and going out to eat until two in the morning. It was singing along to all of the songs at the top of our lungs like we didn't have rehearsal in the morning. It was swirling skirts and flying curls and people I love and laughter.

Senior spring was the most bittersweet. It was knowing that things would never be completely the same after May 12th came around, and fighting to enjoy every moment of it because of that. To soak in the minutes, the details, the things I never want to forget. Hugs and conversations scribbled in the pages of my mind forever.

It was hard. It was exhaustion almost all the time and feeling like nothing would ever be good enough, like would never be good enough. That I'd bitten off more than I could chew but had to make it all perfect anyways, no matter what it took. Thinking that I had to be everything for everyone, and being determined to do it. Determination, a wonderful character trait that walks such a fragile line.

It was a season of learning. Of learning that I can do more than I would have thought, but learning that I can't do it all, and learning that that's okay. Of trying to remember that I can't be a superhero, and that no one expects that. Of learning to breathe through it and keep at it.

It was endless spontaneity despite the craziest of schedules. Pockets of time for adventures, ice cream for lunch and thirty minute road trips to nowhere. Fitting in as much as possible with the 24 hours given.

Senior spring was dreaming way too big, and fighting to make it happen anyways. Creativity thrust into overdrive. Pushing and working and going going going to make it a reality. Hours upon hours upon hours alone in the studio, the music permanently ingrained in my memory. Scribbling down notations at the most frantic of speeds, desperate to remember every fleeting idea. It was endless gratitude for the love and patience and gigantic hearts of the ones who were a part of it, of the senior project that I still can't believe actually happened.

It was a season of provision, in every possible aspect. Of opportunity beyond my wildest dreams. Of Jesus knowing the depths of my heart and whispering yes. Seeing the Lord's hand in everything, opening up doors for the future while keeping me rooted in the moment and helping me get through where I was right then. Holding me up and keeping me grounded while giving me glimpses of the joy and blessings in store.

It was tears. Tears of exhaustion and feelings of inadequacy and fear, but tears of relief and pure gratitude for the kind souls who helped make the load a little lighter. family. the second momma crew. friends who are family in every sense but blood. {cyrus freaking fontaine who saved my senior project + sanity simultaneously and whose praises I will never stop singing. go buy every song he's ever written.}

It was a season that culminated in one big, wonderful night that I'll never forget. Surrounded by nearly everyone I loved, in my favorite place in the world, dancing on that stage one final time. We took it all to the next level as theatre kids tend to do, and walked down the aisle to Don't Stop Believing. That song and the many others of that night (theatre kids, remember?) will forever have the biggest space in my heart.

Senior spring was overwhelming. Overwhelming stress, overwhelming kindness, overwhelming exhaustion, overwhelming gratitude, overwhelming joy. Overwhelming is the only way to describe it. And maybe that's why it's a season that I'll never be able to adequately put into words for anyone, no matter how desperately I want to throw it all onto the page. Sometimes, God's goodness is so grand that it can't be described, and I'm just grateful to have lived it.

-----

I know that this was so long ago, and doing a senior recap in August is the strangest thing. But the season was so crazy, and in the months since, I haven't been able to write anything that I felt did it justice. So now, almost three months later, I'm processing and taking the time to record it. This blog has followed me since the beginning of freshman year, so it feels wrong not to wrap high school up. Hopefully you all don't mind too much. ♥ Thus, I'm going to have a little baby series running on the blog this month called Senior Saturdays. If you're heading into senior year as I know quite a few people are, hopefully you'll particularly enjoy these, and if you've already graduated, maybe they'll give you a bit of a trip down memory lane. Either way, thanks for popping by this little space of mine. Love you lots. xx

12 comments:

  1. Wow. That was an amazing recap! I’m not going to be a senior this year, but I can definitely understand a lot of what you’re saying about it. Good luck this coming year, wherever the Lord takes you!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Ahhh this makes me think about the hectic times during my own senior year... Thank you for sharing memories and lessons - these are my favorite things to read.

    ReplyDelete
  3. My sister works at an Altar'd State here!!! Aren't the clothes the absolute CUTEST?
    Your senior year spring sounds like it was completely wonderful. I wish I was in theatre right now. :'( JK, I'm going to be pretty soon, so it's all good.

    ReplyDelete
  4. <3 MY HEART MELTS READING EVERY WORD. What you mentioned about never having the right words to wrap up the end of senior year until now makes so much sense. I GET IT! I remember not exactly wanting to go to prom as much as I thought but having the most wonderful time with my friends too! Determination is SUCH an important trait. You are going to do so many wonderful things Grace!

    ReplyDelete
  5. omg i love your posts; i'm so glad you had an incredible senior year <3

    ReplyDelete
  6. You summed up senior year perfectly, especially the learning part-- both on what you're able to do and not able to do. Such an important lesson, but to understand that and be in a warm community who has your back is best. <33 The future is bringing amazing things to you, Grace Anne.

    xoxo Abigail Lennah | Story-Eyed

    ReplyDelete
  7. "Determination, a wonderful character trait that walks such a fine line." <<<< girl, you nailed it. Many many congrats on finishing this season of life, and on to bigger, greater things.

    hugs.
    k.

    ReplyDelete
  8. wow Grace Anne you are so gifted with words, honestly <3 this was amazing and you described everything so real and genuinely. You're going places, girl.

    And yay!! I'm heading into senior year haha, so it will be great to read your series <3

    ReplyDelete
  9. I’m fine, this is fine, everything’s fine. This post has me in tears but it’s FINE

    ReplyDelete
  10. Grace Anne, you record your life and memories so beautifully I wish I was there to witness every glorious moment but I also feel like I was there. < THAT MEANS YOU'RE A TALENTED WRITER, GIRL. Also I can SO TOTALLY RELATE to what you were saying about stress and perfectionism and determination… like ARE WE THE SAME PERSON??? :''') thank you for that beautiful reminder. I needed to read this. <3

    YOU ARE INFINITELY AMAZINGLY AWESOME. I'm so glad this was a memorable season of your life :')

    rock on,
    abbiee

    ReplyDelete
  11. Yay! Love reading this somehow I feel like I was in my senior days. Great share!

    ReplyDelete

♥ Comments brighten my day- I'd love to chat ♥

CopyRight Grace Anne Johnson 2018 © | Theme Designed By Hello Manhattan