thoughts from a september sunday

September's almost over, but I feel like I'm just saying hello.

Maybe that's because I've felt like I've missed a lot of hellos lately. Life has been busy, but that's nothing new. We're all busy. The beginning of a new season is just a new attempt at figuring out how this round of balls needs to be juggled. It's a balance, finding the precision of the right speed and force with which to keep everything moving at once. And then there's the settling in, the rhythm of it all that finally emerges. There's no change in the speed or force, or the balance required. It just becomes a little more familiar, a little steadier.

I'm finally settling in to the steadier, a month into it all. For a while I got tired of filling blog posts with the happenings of my life, but I've come to balance that with the fact that this will always be a diary of sorts. So think of this post as a quick coffee date, where we sit across from each other at the table, steaming mugs in hand as we catch up on life.

I'm nineteen now. Two months in and I still don't feel any older, funnily enough. Nineteen is a weird age, I think. With eighteen comes legal adulthood and an abundance of transition and newness, change and responsibility. Nineteen is, again, more settled. The last year of being a teenager, which will never cease to be weird. But I always imagined nineteen as so old, and here I am, still preferring to sit on the floor any day of the week and still of the belief that frosted animal crackers are peak comfort food. I still think that partying sounds miserable, and at the end of the day I still just want to tell stories. They say that age is just a number, and I don't think it was until the past few years of simultaneously feeling so much younger and so much older that I finally got it.

Nineteen means sophomore year, desperately trying to grab junior year's tail and climb on board. This fall has been worlds better than last, school-wise. I couldn't really have asked for a better schedule, and overall it's just been a much smoother ride. I'm already looking towards spring semester with a bubbling anxiety for a thousand and one different reasons, but for the moment I'm trying to rest in the now.

I'm still working more jobs than most people would tell me is sane, but I'm just grateful to be here. I get to work social media for my favorite place on earth this year, and it's been the biggest joy to get to spend my time taking photos of the people that I love so dearly and shouting to the world about what wonderful humans they are. What else could I ask for?

August twelfth marked five years of pouring my heart out into this little corner of the internet, and I still don't quite know how to wrap my mind around that. Five years feels like such a mile marker, and for the first time since I started hitting blogiversaries, I did absolutely nothing to celebrate as August swept me up and away. I still feel like the world's worst blogger for that, for not keeping up with my own tradition. Which is probably the silliest thing in the world to beat myself up over, but here we are anyways. Is anyone surprised?

All of that to say, five years is a lot. And I'm ridiculously grateful that my fourteen year old self decided to go out on a whim and start the absolute cringiest little blog, because it's made my life better in a thousand different ways. It's made me better in a thousand different ways. Grateful grateful grateful.

I finally got out of the absolute longest reading slump, which has been nothing short of wonderful. I have a post coming up recapping all of my recent reads, but I'm just so glad to finally be back to devouring stories on the daily again. Reading has always been one of my favorite things, but the last two years or so yanked that out from under me a bit. So, if you're a former reader and finding yourself missing it, this is your prompting. Go pick up a book, then come back and tell me about it.

Exactly twelve weeks ago tomorrow I started up The Tuesday Letters, which quickly became my new passion project as I fell in love with everything about it. I realized that I haven't actually mentioned that on here yet, and I want to dedicate a full post to them sooner rather than later, but a recap of lately isn't complete without that chunk of my heart.

What else? I've soaked in a lot of really good theatre over the last few weeks. Chick-Fil-A now has mac and cheese, and honestly, that's all that really matters. I haven't written enough lately, and it's making me itch. That's probably why I'm here now, typing madly into this blogger template, laying on the old black rug in the middle of my dad's darkened office. When you hit that point of doing so many things without doing the thing that sets your soul on fire, you go a little crazy, y'know? So here I am, putting off homework for just a few more minutes to send this out into the void.

But we're settling now, remember? The juggling is a little more familiar, and the keys feel right under my fingertips again. Hopefully this feeling becomes familiar again once more, too.

Drawing inspiration from the dearest of friends and sharing a few quick things before I pop out for tonight ---

>>> this podcast episode. I don't try to hide my love for Hannah Brencher, and this podcast episode is full of so much goodness and truth. Make sure to check out part 2 as well - so so good.

>>> this blog post by Rachel, who never ceases to put the screams of my soul into words better than I ever could. She's full of truth and wisdom and I love her to bits.

>>> Liv is gentle peace in a person. Read this if you need a breath of air.

>>> You know how sometimes God uses the funniest little things to remind us how freaking good He is? This song was that for me this past week. One day I'll put that story into words, about the stunning immediacy of His answers and the reminders of hope that He gives us to tuck in our pocket and carry us through the week. For now, this song will be my heartbeat.

>>> Is too much Gilmore Girls a thing? Because I am head over heels in love with Gilmore Girls. Where has this been all my life? (I'm only on season one so spoil upon penalty of DEATH)

>>> This post this post this post. I was sitting in my car on a random Tuesday when this popped up on my phone and made me feel as if someone had flipped my heart inside out. Read it, please.

That's all for tonight, dear friends, but oh, how I love doing this once more. The blogging world isn't getting rid of me yet. ♥

xx Grace Anne